A Tour of Nostalgia
and some other tingz
Well well well…if it isn’t me again, back to haunt you with my unsolicited thoughts and pinis (that’s short for opinions, I’m trying it out - what do you guys think??)! The detectives among you would know that once again I neglected to release a newsletter last week, which is effectively making this a bi-weekly thing, and while that was unintentional, I’m kind of digging it. That said, who knows what I’ll get up to in the future in terms of scheduling. I’m in charge, and I can choose chaos whenever I want!! It’s so satisfying to be wreaking havoc at the helm.
Speaking of being at the helm, I know I use this newsletter to be silly and goofy (and I will continue to do so…perhaps I will dip my toe into earnest low-stakes opinions as well, should the shoe fit), but I do feel compelled to acknowledge the terrifying and upsetting state of the world currently. Each time in my almost twenty-nine years of life that we’ve lived through a massive event like an attack, a war, a historical presidency, a law passing/overturning, or terrorism, it’s felt almost unreal to see it unfold, and also strange to carry on with daily life in the midst of other worlds completely crumbling (and pieces of my own).
Much of my time off last week was simply due to the fact that I didn’t have it in me to create and release anything at all, especially something trivial and nothing-y like this newsletter, in the midst of terrorist attacks, war crimes, and the murder of innocent citizens and children in Gaza and Israel. Disturbing events are still unfolding as I write this, but I was reminded about the importance of levity and comedy in the midst of tragedy by Pete Davidson’s SNL monologue from last week, which I do feel to be true, and thus I am choosing to write this doggone newsletter today! I don’t love to get political online because the concept of Facebook/Instagram/Reddit arguments with random relatives and strangers makes my blood curdle, but I’m praying and fighting for peace in the Middle East, safety for all Jews and all Muslims, and a free Palestine. If you’re not for some reason, and you’re reading this and want to fight me, I would love to discuss with you in person :) ONWARD!
Bring Back “Crunk”
Shifting gears completely…we need to bring back the phrase “crunk”. Some of you may have never stopped saying this, but personally I have rarely heard an utterance of the once-celebrated colloquial term “crunk” since probably 2014. This thought came to me as I was discussing potential Halloween costumes with my friend Kerry (shoutout Kerry, love ya) that wouldn’t involve me wearing a wig, as I’ve become anti-wig in recent years (they’re itchy).
One of my concepts I was toying with was if I was to transform into 2009-era Ke$sha of Tik Tok The Song fame. Of course as soon as I brought up Ke$ha, Kerry and I began to do what we do best and text each other lines from meaningful songs in our canon - usually something from the genius that is Nicki Minaj but occasionally something from other artists - and we shared the iconic line “errbody gettin’ crunk” and thought…where has crunk gone and why did it go anywhere at all??
A quick urban dictionary search revels that crunk in fact has a dual meaning when used as a verb. It is of course derived from AAVE and means either to be excited and high energy or to be what it sounds like, which is drunk and high on drugs, which of course I have never personally experienced but cheers to everyone out there choosing to dance with mind-altering substances such as drugs and alcohol. I will never know what it feels like but it will feel good to die pure and better than all of you.
Regardless of my personal pursuit of perfection, “crunk” is the perfect phrase and Kerry and I are committing to bringing it back into everyday conversation. I’m adding it to the long list of things that never should have left pop culture, including but not limited to: the whip (dance move), the dab (dance move), “dweeb” as a common insult, saying “take a hike” and “go jump in a lake” when you’re done with someone, and of course, saying “roflcopter”. It wouldn’t hurt to also bring back “Bing Bong” while we’re at it. Loooooved Bing Bong.
TikTok Can’t Hold A Candle To Vine
While we’re on this nostalgia train, I would like to bring up another important thing that’s been very much on my mind. That thing is: Vine. My, how the mighty have fallen. I actually never think about anything but Vine. The tragedy of Vine, really, was that it was gone too soon, and everyone collectively agreed. It’s difficult to dig through the cobwebs of my mind, but I’m pretty sure I’m correct in saying that Twitter bought it and immediately dissolved it? And now look at Elon’s Twitter…dare I say karma?!
Something that has been happening with increased velocity is people posting old Vine compilations on TikTok with titles like “Classic Vines You Forgot About” and “The Best Vines Of All Time”. Us Vine re-watchers know that these compilations have been strictly present on YouTube ever since The Fall. What’s so hilarious to me is the fact that TikTok users are using the platform made to replace Vine but that is in fact so completely different to simply just post old content from Vine. It’s as if people have been using TikTok and realized…wait a minute…it was better before. Of course there is a nostalgia factor, but society as a whole has crumbled ever since Vine was folded into Twitter, and I think the sheeple are starting to wake up and smell the roses. I’ve also been seeing a lot of iCarly clips lately, but maybe that’s just me?? Obsessed with those as well. Where would I be without the classics like iCarly, Vine, and their peers? Nowhere, that’s where.
I Found Out How Pineapples Grow And I’m Shook
Two weekends ago, my sister, father, boyfriend and I visited my dear brother Josh Wink (real fans know) in Des Moines, Iowa, where he’s been residing. You may ask yourself, “what is there to even do in Des Moines?” and I may answer…more than you think! Not only is there more to do than you think, the things that you can do may astound you. I was certainly astounded when, at the very beginning of our visit to the botanical gardens, our attention was called to a budding pineapple. If this wasn’t the darndest thing I ever did see…look at this:
It’s red and it’s teeny do you see it?!
First of all, don’t come for me if you knew that this is what a baby pineapple looked like. Good for you, no one cares!!! I, personally, had absolutely zero idea that this was how these little spikies grew. I feel revolutionized. This discovery felt very similar to the time that I encountered a broccoli flower on the University farm at my ALMA MATER Miami University in Oxford Ohio (Redhawks rise up) and was dumbfounded.
These are the broc flowers btw
Things that make this pineapple discovery so cookoo to me:
The pineapple is RED. Who knew it started out as a little red guy?! Not I! The leaves it is seemingly sprouting out of are also red, and they look like the top of the pineapple. My brother said that to grow a pineapple you actually plant the top of one, but I can’t tell if he’s pulling my leg or not. That is what it looks like though, no??
The pineapple is just a MINI pineapple, growing all by itself atop a giant bursting leaf stalk! So you’re telling me one pineapple grows on that large plant? That’s so crazy. I would love to see a live field of pineapples one day. Wouldn’t that be a sight!
I’m still left with questions. When will the pineapple turn yellow? Is that how you know it’s ripe? Are they harvested before they are yellow, and do they only yellow after they have been plucked from their plant? Are the insides yellow from birth, or do they start out as red as well? Much to think about!
Well this has been fun! If you made it to the end, you’re the GOAT and I love you. If you didn’t, once again, you won’t even see this so SAYONARA! Until we meet again…stay woke and stay CRUNK!!!
